In the name of love

I have started this blog in the name of love.



Hardcore secularism, sodomy and hot dollar shopping have all been of utmost importance in shaping the fine man that I am, and these qualities and have since been blithely forced upon my lovely facebook friends in a swashbuckling, sometimes violent fashion. They will take it no more. The opinionated filth of my facebook page is beginning to give me a rather cunt-like public profile, which is but one of the myriad of reasons for me starting this blog. Another is to use my writing as a creative outlet whilst shrouded in a cloak of realtive anonymity, which is important because it helps me to avoid potentially embarrassing conversations, like this chit chat I had with a pretty young christian friend of mine a few weeks ago while I was out on the sauce:



Young Christian Friend: "I saw your facebook page the other week."

Me: "Oh!"

Young Christian Friend: "Do you really want to finger Jesus? Why do you write things like that?"

Me: "Oh no! No no! I didn't mean for it to be disrespectful or anything. Please don't take it out of context."

Young Christian Friend: "Explain it to me then."


*panics*


Me: "I merely wanted to see if Jesus would have the prostate of a carpenter."

Young Christian Friend: "...................."

Me: "I don't even think Jesus is that sexy!"

Young Christian Friend: "...................."


*panics more*


Me: "Except for in 'The Passion of the Christ' where he's in that dungeon and he's all bound with chains and covered in sweat. Hello"

Young Christian Friend: "...................."

Me: "...................."

Young Christian Friend: "I weep for your soul"



Do you see? Here at "The Golden Shower," I have created a melting pot that encourages diversity and creativity, where we can submerge ourselves in a left-wing soup and lather ourselves in good humour.



I have no idea where this is going to lead me, but if we're placing bets, my money is on an imminent assassination.



Let's have some fun.